For Cathy and me, that language is descriptive, but not very helpful. Enduring the struggles, employment challenges, moving forward with my surgery and finding purpose in advocacy has imparted a level of personal strength I was not aware I possessed. That certainly helps trans people. You have built kingdoms, slain dragons, saved the world, but is time to go home, even if youve never been there before. She served as president of the Christian church planting organization Orchard Group from 1989 to 2009. I mean, among other things, that would include destroying my own church. I honestly have no idea. We had a church Christmasparty that night, so I get this information and I have to go to the church Christmas party and pretend everything's O.K. Dr. Paula Williams spent 13 years as the host of a national television show (viewed by millions) and served as the Chairman and CEO of The Orchard Group a non-profit organization that starts new churches in the US- for 34 years. I grew up in an environment that statiscally said i would never live past a certain age and if i did, i would be drugged up or with a kid out of wedlock, or dead. Currently there are more than 900 anti LGBTQ+ bills pending in legislative bodies across the United States, 407 of them in state legislatures, and 196 of them trans specific. I remember being in that place as a young person feeling like I can never have the life I wanted to have. I know that a lot of times it seems like it would be easier just to give up. At the age of 65, I knew I couldnt keep up the pretense much longer. I am an individual who can be more or less masculine and more or less feminine as my frame of mind and circumstances allow. You might be surprised to hear this, but my list of examples of being treated misogynistically grows exponentially. When I read about teen suicides today, I wonder if any might have been prevented if more parents only knew how to read between the lines. "I couldn't say anything to anyone," he told The Times. The married father of three was a prominent evangelical pastor before transitioning and recognized that transitioning would not be an easy process, personally or professionally. Eunuchs, 'Frankenstein level stuff' and ISIS: This trans sci-fi horror story is real, LGBT Groups: Conservative Christians 'Have No Place in Government', MLB Team Defends Decision to Invite This Former All-Star for 'Christian Day', Oregon First State to Offer 3rd Gender Option on Driver's Licenses, Trump Admin. Women should not be given agency over their own bodies. I have to choose daily whether to hide who I am or be myself in order to protect my safety. Paula Stone Williams is a transgender pastor. Something I thought I'd never find. Over 50% of Transgender people have had at least one suicide attempt by their 20th birthday. My despair had not been caused by the inequities of the world around me, but by my own willingness to sacrifice my true self in order to belong to it. Paula Stone Williams is a Pastoral Counselor and internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. I love the idea of being beyond gender, of behaving and dressing without regard for gender roles. It took me a long time to fully comprehend the difference between gender identity and gender expression. I'm so proud and appreciative of how far we have actually come. As I wrote a few weeks ago, one of the leading organizations rallying people against trans rights is the American Principles Project. Our moms both had to grieve the loss of a child. Empires come and go, but the church stands. I kept it a closely guarded secret for the next 28 years while I finished my time in the Air Force Reserve to retire. My first TED Talk, about the differences between experiencing life as a man and as a woman, has been the subject of most of my talks. These are uncharted waters. Growing up queer and learning I was transgender made me feel searing pain as well as transcendent highs. We vacation together. Everything Ive done with my body, from top surgery to gradual low-dose testosterone to a hysterectomy, was, at some point, a revelation. It affects my decisions about the places I travel. At the foundation of that life are a lot of good people: Fifty years ago, Cathy and I were married. Join us to hear from Dr. Paula Stone Williams about her experience journeying from male to female and from despair to joy. Being transgender has never been about clarity or precision or fact not in the traditional sense. Were still missing over $1600 in reimbursements from the school system that were required to have been sent by December 31. It has been much harder for my children and their spouses, and much harder still for Cathy. Love is, after all, what makes the world go round. A long journey over water clears the mind. I love vacationing in Hawaii, and often peruse sales listings on the Internet after I get home. Williams' new. I have not started transitioning, yet I do try to make myself happier by appearing more feminine. For more on Paula Stone Williams' journey, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribe here. If we havent been able to kill it in 2000 years, were certainly not going to be able to kill it now. Embracing my gender variance, I transitioned to female and opened a solo medical practice dedicated to the transgendered community. After a bout with cancer I decided I could no longer hide, and the true healing began. I have effectively traded my white male privilege to become one of Americas most hated minorities. This pain is better than the sheer torture of a melancholy existence where the brain is constantly searching for a body it can't find just yet. Though I must admit, it is definitely easier coaching TED speakers than being one. Ive had trials come about because of the book. "I rarely talk about my dad's transition publicly but decided it's time to share this story. At first I was hesitant to embrace the label "agender" unaltered because of my femme expression, but no other label felt right. My overall quality of life has significantly improved since I started transitioning. I drank too much and did my best to put on a happy face, but it was pretty brutal.". ', Everything You Need to Know About Pride Month, Missing Trans Woman Found Fatally Beaten in Chicago Garbage Bin: 'There Is Not Enough Community Response'. He was in effect saying to parents, We will take your child out of class and build a case that youve accessed gender affirming care for that child, and then we will remove your child from your home and charge you with a felony. Note nowhere in that investigation is any concern about whether or not your child is actually transgender. Everything I spent decades building was gone in a week. My journey as a trans man has really been about me becoming a man of my design. I am more than willing to use my platform to speak out against anti-transgender rhetoric and legislation. Now you see the problem. Paula is one of the founding Pastors of Envision Community Church. This week I have written about the specifics of that struggle. Williams . Transitioning was much tougher than I had expected. Williams began his work with Orchard Group in 1979 and became the president and chairman of the group in 1989, driven by a "simple statement of faith." Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Of course a TED Talk on transgender issues would not have any traction outside of the United States. As I began to transition I was told I would never be able to model as a "male", because I was only 5'7 and not a real man. I have left them fatherless. In a way coming out as a gender neutral, non-binary trans person was more than just claiming who I am, it was also about coming out as one of two twins. It is important to not forget that not everyone can 'pass' in their chosen gender or as no gender at all or any other combination or not combination thereof. The church is where we celebrate the milestones of life, be it births, weddings, funerals, the solstices, or some obscure religious celebration known only to ones peculiar tradition. It wasn't like when I was that innocent boy who wore a dress and felt liberated. Therapists and close friends have all used the same word to describe our circumstances tragic. The grandchildren adjusted without much difficulty. I really hope that through creating visibility of diverse gender experiences we can break down the stigma. The evangelical bubble makes me chuckle until I realize how much damage is being done to our nation because of evangelical perspectives on gender. "Lives are at stake," Paula statedthis month. [4] She has hosted several TED Talks, sometimes accompanied by her son, Jonathan Williams. The existential anxiety would return to me in Hawaii as surely as it does in the beauty of the Rocky Mountains. Despite being a part of the LGBT community I really knew nothing about what it meant to transition. If I could say something to every trans person out there, it is that you are not alone, it is positive (if not awesome) to be different, and you have mentors and resources (please use us!). I love it there. Paula Stone Williams, of Left Hand Church in Longmont, transitioned at age 60. We were children, really. Jael came two and a half years after that. With the great wisdom you have gained, with so much experience. Today I have bounced back, finished my first year of law school, and got that vagina I always wanted put right where it belongs. "I am learning a lot about what it means to be a female, and I am learning a lot about my former gender," she says. Sometimes people step up and take big risks for social justice, but there are an infinite number of moments when you can help out in the small ways. To truly examine the state of this countrys relations with its own transgender community or even to begin understanding the real-lived experiences of transgender people, we must first examine ourselves. Leelah's unsupportive parents attended a church that taught them not to accept their daughter's gender. I am visible to help stop stereotypes. Individuals come together and miracles happen. Now I am not afraid to speak up, be visible, and engage in life. Paul's 40-year-old son, Jonathan Williams, pastor of Forefront Brooklyn, a new church started with help from Orchard Group,told The New York Timesthat his father told him in December 2012, a year before he retired, that he wanted to live life as a woman. We all have a few. Paula went on to attend Kentucky Christian University and, in her senior year, to marry the woman she loved, Cathy. Nineteen anti-transgender bills have already been signed into law in the last 14 months. It was a lesson that Williams avoided confronting until after December 2013, when the married father of three announced plans to transition to Paula the woman she'd yearned to be since she was 4 years old. Now, in an exclusive interview featured in this week's issue of PEOPLE, Paula, who has risen to prominence as a trans-rights and gender-equity activist, opens up about the inclusive church she's founded, her new memoir As a Woman and her work now to make amends by spreading lessons of love and compassion. "Here I am going, 'Let's be authentic, let's be a community that loves one another,' and I'm not being authentic. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your device and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. There is no room for passive citizenship. Comments like that of Michael Knowles, Tom Fitton, and Terry Schilling (Hmm, interesting, all are white males) should alarm all Americans. Dr. Paula Stone Williams is an internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. Paula Stone Williams opens up about her new memoir, As a Woman, and her hopes to make amends by spreading lessons of love and compassion, Paula Stone Williams is candid about spending most of her adult life as a prominent male leader in evangelical ministry, which, as she puts it, "teaches the LGBTQ+ population will go to hell unless they give up their sexual identity.". I am very concerned about the rights of transgender and non-binary individuals. It is time to walk through the door of the place that looks like it has been expecting you. Don't listen. Gender fluid. They are far more socially liberal than their parents, and they already make up 42 percent of voters. And Ryan had some . I told them theyd be sick of me by the time we get to June 24. I spent a lot of money and devoted a great deal of energy to add an a to my name. I drank beer with guys and pretended to be a good 'ol boy. To be alongside them at what has the potential to be one of the most important times of their lives is a great honor. I never fit in with anything towards the female stereotype. Our respect for each other remains, as does our love. My story is not a story of 'this to that' it is simply one of me affirming the gender I have always been. Transgender and gender nonconforming people invest great effort and undergo physical and emotional suffering to manifest a self that is somehow more authentic or appropriate. Or maybe I give up the idea of doing a talk altogether and my granddaughters collectively give one on how theyve been ruined by having a grandparent who is transgender. We must work together to protect the freedom to be who God made us to be. I was raised in a small town by loving parents and know before I was ten years old that I was different than the rest of my family and friends. Discovering that there was a name for what I was, that it was a medical conditionthis was magical. Reading my memoir would be a threat to continuing your chosen ignorance about the pain transgender people experience from a very young age. I know I probably wont catch lightning in a bottle again, but I think I can come up with a compelling talk. Its fewer than a dozen, and three of them didnt realize they were talking with the person who used to preach for them. Other institutions might cover one of those bases, but the church is the only one that covers all four. [1] Williams came out as a transgender woman in December 2012.[2]. It didnt exactly flow for me. I was feeling more comfortable as I was dressing more masculine which seemed to give me a bit more confidence. I'm afraid of someone figuring out I'm transgender and killing me in the men's bathroom on a dead interstate highway. But, my mom lost a daughter to gain a second son. It is time for trans allies, accomplices, and apprentices to speak up on our behalf. I am comfortable in my own skin, as though I have finally come into my self. I am living a happy, proud, and gender fuzzy life these days. We enjoy working together and share similar concerns about the priorities of our beautiful town. With a lot of time and patience we both came to accept and understand each other. Some books have hardly an unmarked page. But that never stopped me from doing my best to be who I was. However, I do care about their orthopraxy, how they practice the Christian faith. It is a memoir. My transgender immigrant journey is unique and not representative of all the struggles of our communities, but I hope to encourage everybody to aspire to a life of authenticity. Whenever I wrote essays, short stories--now comments--and people don't know my sex they ALWAYS assume that I am a male. I sat on my couch and laughed at the absurdity of the accusation. Self actualization is never easy. Williams began his work with Orchard Groupin 1979 and became the president and chairman of the group in 1989, driven by a "simple statement of faith.". You tell things as you remember them. Join thousands of others to get the FREEDOM POST newsletter for free, sent twice a week from The Christian Post. After a six year relationship failed, partly due to my insecurities in myself and my identity, I realized it was time. Governments exist to meet the needs of the citizenry. They feel abandoned. I've faced it all but the strength of just being who you are makes it all manageable. My children have all but written me off, and Im hoping with time, things will progress. They place our lives within a context we can understand, one that provides wisdom. Only the United States has gone to seed on it. Reverend Paula Williams has known for almost her entire life that she was a woman. November 28, 2017 November 28, 2017 / Paula Stone Williams / 9 Comments. Meanwhile on the inside I was tormented with turmoil, why wouldn't this just go away? We need apprentices, willing to take direction from the trans community, to help us battle the ignorance and prejudice permeating our nation. In Basic Training the feminine feelings subsided. Attending our church is a threat to being able to back up your principals harried call to close the school doors because we are headed en masse to destroy every Christian thing in our path. Spending time with us is a threat to maintaining the fantasy that we are anything other than ordinary humans, roughly as healthy or unhealthy as everybody else. I was a national Evangelical leader in a large Christian denomination. Growing up in the most densely Mormon area in the world, I never really understood what transgender meant. She helps implement the vision of the church as determined by the Elder Board; including preaching regularly, limited provision of pastoral care and supporting the Global Branch. We assumed we would remain together for the rest of our lives. Trust me, you dont wanna miss them. Paul became Paula. From Afternoons with Jesse Mulligan, 3:07 pm on 9 May 2018. Being a female to male, I have no male influence. In June of 2012, after being prompted to address my unorthodox take on male grooming standards, I became the first openly transgender correctional officer at San Quentin State Prison. I tried therapy during moments of clarity but, because of my lack of honesty, it never worked. I am Rev. Plus, receive recommendations and exclusive offers on all of your favorite books and authors from Simon & Schuster. The cost has been high. We are people who have a hard time destroying dandelions in our front lawns, because you know, they are dandelions. But if I do that talk, then the whole world will know how old I am, and if you havent noticed, age discrimination is real. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are telling the world that we are part of all societies and will settle for nothing less than respect. She is lives in Boulder, Colorado. Presently I have found that self love and happiness from within which has made it possible to accept love from others. Oh, said I, That makes sense.. I thought it ironic I could work as a transgender civilian at HQ, Dept of Army yet couldn't serve my country in uniform. Yep. "I will never forget the transgender teen who talked with me after I spoke at my first public event, a PFLAG conference in Boulder. Are court packing and radical 'court reform' making a comeback? Since 2016 gender dysphoria has become the leading flashpoint for the far right. It calls relentlessly toward the elusive land of authenticity that is always just over the horizon. Paula Stone Williams is a Pastoral Counselor and internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. But I survived and am living a much better life now. The painful details that led to our separation are detailed in my book, As a Woman, What I Learned About Power, Sex, and the Patriarchy After I Transitioned. Our separation was slow and painful, moving through all the stages of loss. In trying to write about my experience of being transgendered, or being labelled transgendered, I find myself unable to do so in a vacuum. Imagine having to wake up every morning wishing you were someone else. It cost them their daughter," Paula said. In short the advice was wrong. I find myself exploring people more fully and more beautifully now that I don't really regard gender or bodies as any sort of label for them. Judiasm teaches that you should love everyone, and at my school I was no exception. The church exists to do life and search for meaning together. My other reading is of books with spines and covers and words on cream-colored pages. When you visit this site, it may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. It is foreign to the world they inhabit. Why? Some struggles are obvious to all, but most are privately endured. It's a lifelong process, something I will never really finish. I believe we have to make our lives beautiful and I have the intention of tending to mine like a beloved garden. Almost without exception these souls are Christians who have been ostracized from their churches and/or families. Have any of these people actually ever met a transgender person? And be respected for who I naturally am.
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