best michael scott monologues
The two proceed to engage in a paintball duel right there in the parking lot before the scene cuts to a grinning Michael Scott, dressed in his suit again but with paint still visible in his tousled hair. I did that in the car on the way home., The only thing that could make this day better is ice cream., Those things are like ticking time bags. Number eight. So, without further ado, here are the best moments from Michael Scott's goodbye episode. An office is for not dying. Nicholas Flamel appeared in J.K. Rowlings Harry Potter - but did you know he really lived? The Sixth Sense (1999) "Even though it's kind of cheating, I've got to go with the scene when Haley Joel Osment tells Toni Collette about what her late mother told him. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30. , Joke's on you Goldenface, that man was a wanted animal rapist. , Jim is my enemy. So, I dont think that this is totally just a womans suit. If Michael Scott can teach you one thing, its that you shouldnt fall for email scams involving Nigerian royalty. In all of its absurdity, The Office had a way of inspiring us to recognize and enjoy beauty in the mundane. Not directly, but through the money., I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend., I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. * Episode recaps: Relive your favorite moments from Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute, Jim Halpert, and more* Character interviews: We'll interview the cast and crew of The Office, getting their insights into the show and their characters. * Peacock exclusives: Well upload never-before-seen deleted scenes, bloopers, and gag reels.If you're a fan of The Office, then this is the channel for you! But I dont see it that way. Most stories wait their turn to be told, but there are a few which tap you on the shoulder and insist on being told. Make our dreams come true! Holly reads right through the statement and comes back by saying, "Oh, you mean this?" By: On the other side of the call, we see a face that is almost familiar, and for a good reason Rory Flenderson is played by Warren Lieberstein, the real-life brother of Toby actor Paul Lieberstein. That's just a figure of speech. Dunder Mifflin employees hilarious commentary has turned The Office into one the most-watched and -memed shows in recent memory. "It's Britney, bitch." When Michael leaves Dunder Mifflin after a contentious relationship with the new VP, he forms a paper company of his own and basks in the freedom the only way you can:. Discover the truth in book six of Michael Scotts New York Times best-selling series the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel. Nicholas Flamel appeared in J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series - but did you know he really lived? Which I realize is a lot to ask for. - Michael Scott (Season 5, Cafe Disco) "Hey Goldenface! The camera follows Michael out to the elevator, where it stops for one final shot as the doors close on the story of one of the greatest regional managers of a small paper supply company that the world has ever known. I just hope I find it along the way., Would I rather be feared or loved? So you know you are getting the best possible information.. I have to be liked. Scott's relationship with Oscar is the polar opposite of his friendship with Kevin, and the interaction that follows demonstrates that in spades. You know what they say the best medicine is., Untrue. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. And his secrets aren't safe! $18.49 But if something else came up, I would definitely not go., This is our receptionist, Pam. Wikipedia is the best thing ever. or 1 credit. Michael's antipathy toward Toby Flenderson is very, very well documented the manager is hostile toward his HR rep at any and every opportunity. One of the most beloved characters in comedy history, The Offices Michael Scott, was known among his work peers for his stupidity, accidental offensiveness and, above all, his massive heart. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at., Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. Michael: Mr. Franklin, I would say you are probably one of the sexiest presidents ever. The reason for the confrontation? We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didnt even work here.. Basically nobody does anything for me unless. One day he bought a book, the same book mentioned in The Alchemyst: the Book of Abraham. An office is a place for living life to the fullest, to the max, to an office is a place where dreams come true.. Monologue: "He's taken an interest. Well, yeah, of course. The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me., I guess Ive been working so hard, I forgot what its like to be hardly working., I don't hate it. It's yet another way that the show reminds all of us that Michael really did find his soup snake er, soul mate. Cancel anytime. "Dr. Bailey's monologue after her miscarriage is hands down one of the best monologues I've seen on television in years. 3. scott. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion. . And now let me answer the question you are about to ask me because, sooner or later, everyone asks, "What is the secret of writing?" Maybe Michael was just having a moment of prophetic clarity after all. Because they are un-understandable., When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! RELATED: 100+ Funny How I Met Your Mother Quotes That Are Legen Wait For It Dary, Michael Scott: Yes. 'Hey, you're poor.' Mr. Malone gets excited, but the enthusiasm quickly fades from his face when Michael unveils a caricature drawing of Kevin's head on a pig's body scarfing down pizza. Of course. Um. [making voice] Michael Scott : No doubt about it. Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? He alludes to believing in inclusivity and draws attention to his good workplace behavior when in fact Mr. Brown's revelation contrasts with what actually is the case. And to me the choice is easy., Hi, Im Date Mike. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. Of course the greatest mystery linked to Nicholas Flamel is the story of what happened after he died. He became extraordinarily wealthy and used some of his great wealth to found hospitals, churches, and orphanages. You don't even know. Boom, roasted.". I just want you to treat me like you would some family member whos undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. We have fun. Anyway, Happy Birthday, Michael. 2023 Paste Media Group. Easy. You will get rich quick. And you know why not? And his secrets aren't safe! Its a tangible thing you can point at and say, Hey man, I love you. To the max. I'm the lion. the office. To celebrate the shows strangest characters, here are some of Creeds most unforgettable quotes from The Office. If you feel like we've missed a vital sc. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. CFO David Wallace at one point explained to Michael that while every other Dunder Mifflin branch had been struggling, Scranton consistently reported great numbers. I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. As much of it was filled with hilarious moments, the shows ability to capture what its like to be an employee made many of us feel less alone in our own experiences. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. After Oscar chokes down his initial reaction and accepts the gift as graciously as possible, the scene cuts to Michael in his office, roaring with laughter. So you know you are getting the best possible information., Guess what, I have flaws. And if, at the end of the day, you can leave your cubicle with a smile, youve accomplished much more than you realize. Creed shouts, "See you tomorrow, boss," and Michael replies with the concise, "Later, guys.". The best music, movies, TV, books, comedy and more. And who should emerge a moment later, but Jim Halpert, who looks quite alarmed at the entire altercation. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasnt moving, you might think she was dead.. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. Hes not the worst. "If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice." - Michael Scott 2. Michael Scott : I'm kind of a Hogan around here. Easy. I dont know if you guys know about it, but, basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe. It begged the questions: if he was still alive today, where would he be and what would he be doing? Swish, swish, swish. Looks like Michael's read on Oscar's opinion was spot on. 3. It's a fitting end to a character that captivated the loyalty of fans for seven years as he helmed the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin and who has remained close in our hearts ever since. Im usually the face of the joke., The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The worst thing about prison was the Dementors. At a dinner party. , Guess what, I have flaws. or 1 credit. 5. With an extended version runtime of well over 40 minutes, the episode is loaded with laughter, drowning in tears, and brimming with plenty of heartwarming memories. And you were . Check out our quote pages for the rest of The Office cast, from Jim Halpert to Kelly Kapoor. That's what friends do., Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as: The fusing of two metals with a hot torch., I guess the attitude that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second and probably an entertainer third., Yes it is true! After tricking Michael into partially eating one, the two coworkers are about to duke it out. "I am Beyonc, always." 3. If you think shes cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago., Like right here is my favorite New York pizza joint. I have Country Crock., I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. 2. It's fear. Directed by James Mangold, the movie also stars Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Antonio Banderas, John Rhys-Davies, Shaunette Renee Wilson, Thomas Kretschmann, Toby Jones, Boyd Holbrook, Oliver Richters, Ethann Isidore, and Mads Mikkelsen. 2023 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Add in the fact that the actor was married to none other than Angela actor Angela Kinsey, and the entire scene is bewildering, hilarious, and an instant classic. As Michael ticks the goodbyes off of his list, each one comes with its own memorable moment. When she talks about saving everyone, but being unable to save her. I dont think thats too much to ask?, I enjoy having breakfast in bed. What most viewers knew him for, though, were the endless amount of quotable gems that he tossed out on an episodic basis. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. It is beCAUSE I hate him., Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Most writers know they will probably never write the vast majority of those ideas. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. See for yourself below and for more from The Office, check out our list of the best quotes from the show as a whole here. But, it's. Oh, God. And then, suddenly, she's not your ho no mo." 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. And since I dont have a butler, I do it myself. or 1 credit. When the entire office tries to convince Michael that a potential client is in the Mafia, he gets a bit frazzled. Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins. Warren looks eerily similar to Paul, and one could almost say that he has some Michael Scott vibes tossed in, to boot. We hang out a ton, mostly at work., As it turns out, you cant just check someone into rehab against their will. Usually in a borderline-heartbreaking manner, Michael repeatedly tries to get in on Jim Halperts comedic banter with others. These things sell themselves., Oscar: This sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme., Michael: Somebody brought in donuts for my birthday!, When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids and I got a really bad rash from the pony, and all the kids got to ride the pony and I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me for probably three hours, and I never came outside. Regular price: And I grabbed one and it fit! 12-06-11, The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, Book 6, Release date: 1. $23.90 And she is going to be OK., Yes, it is true. Had Nicholas also discovered that other great mystery of alchemy: the secret of immortality? Its no surprise the hit sitcom continues to grow in popularity. In two national . , Theres a lot of beauty in ordinary things. As is always the case with a show that juggles this many storylines, Michael's goodbye episode doesn't end on his perfectly written exit from the building. Help us improve our Author Pages by updating your bibliography and submitting a new or current image and biography. What Is Quiet Quitting and Why Has It Become a Viral Sensation? Then Michael looks at Jim one last time, and the salesman knowingly nods, encouraging him to get a move on and start the next chapter of his life. Kevin Malone wasnt exactly an eloquent speaker, but hes delivered some truly magical lines. Cause of your butt., Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Which is why we rounded up the best Michael Scott quotes that will keep you laughing. An office is for not dying. The episode opens on an upward shot of Mr. Scott, basking in the gloriously dull downtown Scranton scenery while sitting in a folding chair on the highest point of the office building. Right after Michael gives Kevin his unsolicited life lesson, the boss moves on to say goodbye to Oscar Martinez. I just. Working so close to a bunch of people who are different from you can sometimes be frustrating and awkward. Why dont you grow something that everybody does like? So, yeah, maybe the faith wasn't completely misplaced, and the fact that Andy ends up in Michael's position not long afterward is another point in his favor. And this is what I get! Well, thats baloney, because grief isnt wrong. A comfortable chair. How do you like your eggs, Ive got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this., OK, too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences., The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends., Websters Dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. The critically acclaimed NBC series was beloved by millions of viewers, thanks to a range of eccentric characters like Dwight Schrute, Jim Halpert, Pam Beesley, and of course, Michael Scott, regional branch manager of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, played by Steve Carrell. He manipulates the market by using inside information and keeping to his motto "Greed is good." In this scene, Gekko makes a speech at a shareholders' meeting of Teldar Paper, a company he is . Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. Whatsoever. , "Last, and possibly least, you didnt think wed forget, That's what she said! (. As the episode approaches the middle point, Michael starts to have a lapse in confidence, and his splendid plan to leave that very day is threatened when the boss begins to have some serious second thoughts. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. , Abraham Lincoln once said that 'If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North," and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace. , As it turns out, you can't just check someone into rehab against their will. And it shouldnt stop us from having fun. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn't even close. He doesn't just like the idea he needs to use it. If youre struggling to get through the workday and need a good laugh, check out these legendary quotes by the one, and only, Kevin Malone. Isnt that kind of the point? , There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional. , Fact: Bears eat beets. Whatsoever., Nobody should have to go to work thinking, Oh, this is the place that I might die today. Thats what a hospital is for. Michael Scott Club Join New Post . Stanley! They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office but I will., Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. Rather than going for a high-minded lesson in subtly undermined confidence, Scott presents Oscar with a gift: a handmade scarecrow. And they have no arms or legs Where are they? Nice to meet me. The following day I'll read what I've written the previous day, then edit and rewrite. And if Toby is a part of it, then itll suck., I think Angela might be gay. Michael Scott Monologue video. $25.90 That's how the game's played. Privacy Statement One of the very best DC movies, a perfect blend of action, heart & humor! I mean, what quality of life do we have there?, Abraham Lincoln once said that, If youre a racist, I will attack you with the North. And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace., They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that youre lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. Because they are un-understandable., I had a great summer. And kind of, Jan is kind of Col. Burkhalter, then Dwight is Schultz. One of the quieter-yet-memorable moments of the episode comes right as Michael is about to leave the premises. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40, I had less money than I did when I was 30., Im not usually the butt of the joke. But, I live by another rule: Just do itNike. , The worst thing about prison was the dementors. , Would I rather be feared or loved? In the months and years to follow, sightings of the Flamels were reported all over Europe. But if something else came up I would definitely not go.. I told them if they graduated from high school, I would pay for their college education. Now, if youve ever watched The Office and felt like the gang at Dunder Mifflins Scranton, Pennsylvania, branch could read your mind, and that Michael just gets you, know that youre not alone. ' , I'm not a millionaire. Figuring out how the pair would part ways had to be a challenge, but it's one that the production crew managed to answer with aplomb. Good news. In-between bouts of uncontrollable guffawing, Scott points out that the gift looks like it was made by a 2-year-old monkey on a farm, adding that, "He has the lowest opinion of me of anybody." $18.49 I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and had a huge spike in its head. Well, its love at first sight. I declare bankruptcy! His father ran the freaking country! Needs to be fired, Michael., When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. He holds the secret that can end the world. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers., About 40 times a year, Michael gets sick but has no symptoms. One of the shows shadiest and most confusing characters, Creed Bratton, quality assurance director, has some of The Offices most fascinating lines. Calling cards are the wave of the future. Erin. And this is something that I live by. Why? Now, I am in the best relationship of my life, with the same woman. Full stop. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. The truth: Nicholas Flamel was born in Paris on September 28, 1330. Its a pimple, Phyllis. So sue me., Do I need to be liked? 22 overall) Clemson LB Trenton Simpson (No. It's mostly Haley's . I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. , "R' is among the most menacing of sounds. Barack is President! Easy. And his secrets aren't safe! Hey, youre poor. Hey, your mamas dead. Thats what friends do., I am running away from my responsibilities. Michael Bradford FIREPOWER (4) 83 Kermit Frazier FOMO (2 . They are the Hallows of Britain. That got infected. I dont come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. With the momentous departure of Mr. Scott now over 10 years old, we decided to round up some of the greatest moments from his final episode as the intrepid leader of the Scranton office of Dunder Mifflin. Nicholas Flamel appeared in J.K. Rowlings Harry Potter - but did you know he really lived? "Good As . Dwight is always gravely concerned., There were these huge bins of clothes and everybody was rifling through them like crazy. Being the level-headed, responsible guy that he is, Darryl politely turns down the request. I just don't like it at all and it's terrible., I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious., The worst thing about prison was the dementors., Fool me once, strike one. A disgruntled Dwight shows up shortly after with a plate full of bull testicles disguised as Rocky Mountain oysters. By one of those wonderful coincidences with which life is filled, I find that the first time the word alchemyst--with a Y--appears in my notes is in May 1997. Follow Michael Scott to get new release emails from Audible and Amazon. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that I was waiting for my wife. , I fell in love with these kids. To celebrate their uniqueness and the shows success, weve gathered some of The Offices most inspirational quotes to lift your spirits when the going gets tough. Fortunately, after asking if Kevin knows who's on the picture, Michael fixes the issue by tearing it in half and telling his speechless accountant to "never be a caricature." Molly Barnett, Mike Borkowski, Scott Braun, Shane Brown, Philip Carruba, Melissa Cohen, Alexandra Cutler, Tom D'Ambrosio, Daniel Demello, Michelle Farabaugh, Glenna . So sue me., I learned a while back that if I do not text 911, people do not return my calls. And that tricks them into doing something stupid. video. These are the 65 best quotes from The Office: Related:64 Mister Rogers QuotesandThe Office Trivia! Denis O'Hare, Narrated by: When it comes to betrayal, Michael has a very low tolerance. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me., Sometimes Ill start a sentence and I dont even know where its going. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do., The worst thing about prison was the dementors., Theres no such thing as an appropriate joke. Theres such a thing as good grief. 09-16-08, The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, Book 4, Release date: It also gave me the character of Nicholas Flamel because, up to that point, the book was without a hero. This desire is so strong that it spills over into his final day at the office. That got infected. 10 Things We Noticed in Zelda Tears of the Kingdom - Video Feature, Resident Evil 4 Remake: The Mercenaries Mode - Leon S Rank Gameplay, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - Official Trailer 2 | Star Wars Celebration 2023, James Gunn Says J.J. Abrams' Superman Reboot Is Still a Possibility Despite Superman: Legacy, Skyrim Mod Uses ChatGPT and Other AI Tools to Give NPCs a Memory and Endless Things to Say. Mercenaries mode is a special mode in Resident Evil 4 Remake that challenges players to survive and score as many points as they can against waves of enemies, with all sorts of ways to extend time, gain score multipliers, and more. The majority of monologues on this list are angry, vicious, and cruel. "Some stories wait their turn to be told, others just tap you on the shoulder and insist you tell them." michael scott. Although the book itself is lost, the illustrations from the text still exist. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. We love hearing from youStreaming now on Peacock: https://pck.tv/3mPrdWBWatch The Office US on Google Play: http://bit.ly/2xYQkLD \u0026 iTunes http://apple.co/2eW0rcK Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa90xqK2odw1KV5wHU9WRhg?sub_confirmation=1Welcome to The Office Channel!This channel is dedicated to everything The Office, from behind-the-scenes videos to fan theories. And a panther. , Oh my God it's happening! "Pam - You failed art school. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised., No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. April 26, 2023, 2023 The Script Lab - An Industry Arts Company. He might not be the sort of boss we would personally want unless youre Dwight Schrute, of course but he did have plenty of jokes and one-liners that will brighten anyones 9-5 day. And I had to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do, which was just to wait. Besides giving its audience a good laugh, the mockumentary sitcom remains relevant as a window into the workplace and its many relationships. That guy. Would I rather be feared or loved? Michael Scott was the face of "The Office" for seven blissful seasons of comedic glory. I'd love to be a part of one someday., I want you to rub butter on my footPam, please? Narrated by: Paul Boehmer. Boom, roasted.". Or some sort of monster like something with the body of a walrus with the head of a sea lion. But Michael sets a surprising tone (that he keeps up for the entire episode) by smoothing things over. I give them money. We can always count on the employees of Dunder Mifflin to snap us out of a funk and remind us not to take life, or ourselves, too seriously. The Best Men's Stage Monologues 2018 Edited and with a Foreword by Lawrence Harbison Smith and Kraus Publishers. By William Earl. And yet, we, the viewers, are so used to it at this point in the show that we don't give it a second thought. Everybody stay calm. Then he cleverly butters up the farmer, tapping into his wildlife knowledge by asking him loaded questions about bears, salamis, pepperonis, and the like. He's always trying to get people to like him, and he doesn't' really think about what others want in the process. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. An office is a place to live life to the fullest. The receptionist-turned-salesman-turned-office administrator arrived back at the office just after Michael left and physically tracked him down just in time to say goodbye. Battlestar Galactica. , There are always a million reasons not to do something. , In the wild, there is no healthcare. added by drcoxrox. You could ask me, 'Kelly, what's the biggest company in the world?' , I am fast. The best part is, in the very next scene, as Michael talks to Angela, Oscar goes right on making snooty comments from the background, correcting verbiage and generally sounding about as jerky as it gets. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. There was significant action at the top of the draft order, but plenty of good players are still waiting to hear their names . The first person to shout 'shotgun' when you're within sight of the car gets the front seat. Thats how the games played. He was the worst. Series: Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, Book 5. The next thing we see is a talking head of Jim. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, Hero of the Week: He Saved a Womans Life With a CPR Joke from The Office, 19 Funny Michael Scott Quotes to Ease Your Day at the Office, 20 Chrissy Teigen Quotes on Finding Humor in Every Situation, 12 Charlie Brown Quotes to Help You Regain a Positive Attitude, Teamwork Quotes That Teach Us About the Power of Collaboration, Inspirational Winnie the Pooh Quotes About Life & Friendship. This is absolute genius. For real., You all took a life here today. She believes music, long walks and a good sense of humor are imperative in keeping ones sanity. Even though I peed on it., Friends joke with one another. And they are right. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Heres How Nicolas Cage Cleared $6 Million Worth of Debt and Refused to Declare Bankruptcy, Woman Born Without a Left Hand Becomes Mountain Climbing Superstar After Scaling a 2,600-Metre Mountain Face, Grandson Travels 800 Miles to Surprise His Grandfather His Incredible Emotional Reaction Makes It All Worth It, Boy Is Heartbroken After His Toy Car Gets Run Over Then the Police Step in to Make Things Right. A place for fans of Michael Scott to watch, share, and discuss their favorite videos. After buttering his coworker up with this clearly incredible gift, Michael asks one favor: He wants to use the baler. And I always have. I am gonna drop a deuce on everybody., I dont understand. All rights reserved. They have to hit rock bottom. Terms of Use You are as creepy as a real serial killer. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I'll say it to my next one, too. , This is a dream that I've hadsince lunchand I'm not giving it up now. , I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. Good worker, though., Michael: Yes! Then Michael gives Andy his own clients as a parting gift to boost his confidence.
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