These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Hollywood should stick to doing what it does best, cocaine and each other. Hamilton: Argus responsible for pandemic; he didnt send email to 10 people, Hamilton: Southwest flight is booked for Jan. 5th or 6th or 7th, Hamilton: Even the signs are private in La Jolla, Hamilton: Harry and Meghan insist in millionth interview they just want privacy, Hamilton: The Fourth Wiseman brought a fruitcake. Now Biden wants to issue his own trading card, but he's terrified they'll put his career stats on the back of the card. NBC's broadcast of the Summer Olympics in Japan began to draw bigger TV ratings this week as the public became familiar with some of the athletes. Thats why its still a secret. Im an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist, Argus says. Back in 1999 Bill Clinton paid Paula Jones $850,000 to shut up and go away and in 2016 Donald Trump paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 Donald Trumps grand jury recessed a second straight day Thursday as the case against him for his hush money payment to a porn star seemed to falter. We are here to help! Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. One boat capsized and steering mountings were knocked loose.Its times like this when Mitt Romneys yacht elevator in La Jolla suggests hed be a wise steward of the U.S. economy.Current TV fired Keith Olbermann as host of the cable networks evening news show Friday. House Democrats pushed Biden's voting bill as a civil rights issue to try to kill voter ID laws Friday. Welcome to part five of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. As a member, you receive exclusive content, community access, behind-the-scenes updates, and the pride of fueling work that matters to you. Argus Hamilton Request a Quote Column Seen in the Daily Oklahoman for Two Decades Official Comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial Speaker Fees Keynote: $12,500 Travel Fees US: Round-trip airfare and expenses. Become a Humor Times patron via Patreon.com! But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". It's fun for about two weeks. People magazine just named her least Likely Ever to Become President. We thank you. Editorials Letters Columns Rants & Raves. Supermarket News reports shortages of tinned fish, and lettuce, dwindling beef supplies, and even a champagne shortage, along with the egg shortage causing poultry products to skyrocket. Please join them, and help support independent media! Comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton's daily monologue of jokes on news events, politics, sports and celebrities. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically. Submit your best content, jokes, photos, or videos to become an exclusive Laugh Factory member and have your content shared on our website. Fox replies, hold my beer! Argus Hamilton - Comedian Argus Hamilton's hilarious political humor column is available five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. In their new ad campaign, Carnival promises to treat you like Read more, In the news, Cyprus agreed to seize ten percent of the money in high-level Cyprus bank accounts to avoid bankruptcy. Fox News interviewed House Republicans who demand to learn all that's on Hunter Biden's laptop, suspecting it'll reveal shady business deals with his father and uncle. Call us to speak with a booking agent to discuss your event or specific speaker request. Related Tags: Information on keynote speaking engagements, personal appearances, corporate entertainment and appearance fees for Argus Hamilton, an inspirational motivational speaker. | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy, Tucson in process of returning land to Tohono O'odham Nation, Deadly heat waves threaten older people as summer nears, 20 California condors in Arizona, Utah died from avian flu, Shooting at carnival Saturday night being investigated by Prescott Police, Photos: Prescott welcomes Whiskey Off-Road 2023, PUSD Governing Board to discuss science curriculum at May 2 meeting, Lawmakers wrestle with bill that keeps minors from porn, Blasting at Hwy. Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Its nearly impossible for his friends to get him the right birthday gift. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. However last week in L.A., I. friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, Tiger Woods is favored to win the Masters for the first. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. So far, Im blessed to be having a good year financially. Find Property for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. Smaller Twinkies seen as un-American Hostess Twinkies returned Tuesday but the new Twinkies weigh less and have less calories than old Twinkies. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? The billionaire is off the grid along with staff including his yacht captain and crew, his science advisor and several women. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Academy Awards producers are reported worried the ceremony will draw low ratings due to stars using the stage as a political platform in the past. The Los Angeles Times reports the second man to step foot on the moon, NASAs legendary Buzz Aldrin married a much younger woman on his 93rd birthday Saturday in a ceremony in Beverly Hills. Les festivits du 14 juillet sont toutes maintenues sur la Cte d'Azur. Laugh Factory, LaughFactory.com, the Laugh Factory logo, and all media posted have proprietary rights and are registered as trademarks and copyrights, of Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Comedy Store legend Argus Hamilton jokes about the news of the day and chats with comedians and other entertainers from the basement of the World Famous Come. Shes going by the book. Argus Hamilton on the News: Medicare, Duck Dynasty & Much More! U.S. Olympic athletes inspired debates on cable news Monday on whether they represent the U.S. or themselves at the Games, and I'd say they represent us all. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. He'd just steal the show. He has responded to accusations he gave unwanted hugs the same way he'd answer if accused of beheading a movie studio owner's horse. Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton Published Dec. 21, 2022 Miss Manners notes the recent sharp decline in etiquette and social manners in public. Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom. Argus Hamiltons daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Porn Hub offered to help the White House fix the ObamaCare website Tuesday. But the successful stand-up comedian and newspaper columnist made a startling discovery about fun almost 30 years ago. Argus comments on Medicare, Duck Dynasty, Francoise Hollande and more. Argus Hamilton on the News: Porn Hub Offers to Help Fix Obamacare Site. In college I dedicated my life to causing as much trouble as he did. Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Hamilton is well known among newspaper readers for his daily syndicated column, now carried in more than 100 newspapers, in which he pokes fun at news and newsmakers. It also identifies the celebrants who need to go to rehab. magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. Please Note: All American Speakers Bureau is a full-service talent booking agency providing information on booking Argus Hamilton for speaking engagements, personal appearances and corporate events. Hamilton: State of Union is strong; at least when it comes to eggs. 3 talking about this. Watch Argus tell all of the stories from the early days at The Store to today and everything in between. The Silicon Valley Banks failure was blamed on the combination of higher interest rates and the banks woke business practices. Forbes magazine published an article called Ten Reasons to Drink During the Holidays, citing the sociable nature of office parties and family reunions. When hes in Los Angeles, he can be seen working out the latest material nightly at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Prince William and Kate left her parents home Friday, sparking frenzy that the royal birth was Read more. Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! Tiger Woods played well over the weekend in the Los Angeles Open sponsored by Genesis, the parent company of Hyundai. Yes, you can easily cancel or upgrade your pledge at any time. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations. Grow a pair. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Classic photo of Argus performing on The Tonight Show. White House spokesman John Kirby offhandedly revealed that a second approaching object was quickly shot down out of the sky over Alaska Friday. When home in Los Angeles, he can be seen live onstage at The Comedy Store in . The World Health Organization reported 15 million new cases of COVID in the first week of the year when Omicron infections peaked. Britain reports the Delta variant's toll on Britons was much milder than expected as infection rates fell for the seventh day in a row. Across the Street Courier Cooks Neighbors Puzzles Real Estate Top Jobs. Help us keep the lights on with a small (or large!) Get access to a fantastic community of comedy fans! Olympic gymnast Simone Biles sat in the stands and cheered her team to victory in Japan this past week. Hamilton: Anheuser-Busch regrets its costly Bud Light move? Government workers will have to stop not working. Copyright 2023 All American Speakers Bureau. They just added family and relationship counseling because the minute the bank opened its doors, the lobby was filled with beautiful groupies.The Daily Caller quoted a book Monday saying Rick Perry was on painkillers during the GOP debates to relieve lower back pain. Bookmark the page and share it! GOP Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina came down with coronavirus Monday even though he'd been already vaccinated months ago. Its an outrageous seizure of private property. Simone showed tremendous courage by stepping down from the very top because her mental state isn't quite right. Search for real estate and find the latest listings of Cagnes-sur-Mer Property for sale. All rights reserved. Billboard quoted Cardi B denouncing the soaring price of groceries in Los Angeles supermarkets Tuesday, prompting economists to say her quote shows inflation is beginning to hit the rich. Mitt Romneys dad was an auto executive and cars and oil go hand-in-hand like solar panels and bankruptcy.House Republicans will propose tax deductions for small busines on Tax Day. Read more, Miley Cyrus, George Clooney, Obamacare and much more Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth reportedly broke up Monday due to her raunchy MTV Awards performance. The demonstration was amazing. 63,852 used cars for sale from Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. JamesEdition can help you find the home that match all the preferences for your dream home. Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! Anheuser-Busch courted customer outrage and boycott by celebrating Transgender Rights Day by placing transgender woman activist Dylan Mulvaneys image on Bud Light beer cans Pope Francis hosts Good Friday services in Rome today for Roman Catholics worldwide. However consider the argument for sloth. They gave Tinker Bell a plus-sized sister named Taco Bell. Jay is now watched more closely than a Pennsylvania groundhog when walks onstage. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Hes a loyal Democrat. This Christmas, Kanye West will be going from house to house to make your drunk uncle seem OK. As we share our homes with relatives and loved ones, we are reminded of that first Christmas scene. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. Copyright Notice: This website is protected by U.S. and International copyright laws. To back President Obamas gun control measures Read more, The news, as one twisted mind sees it In the news, McDonalds announced a huge increase in sales in November after its first-ever drop in October. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Portage Daily Register; Reedsburg Times-Press; Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey.Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade.You can read Argus Hamiltons outrageously funny humor column on the Internet six days a week yes, six days a week (Unbelievable, says Yahoo.com). (Unbelievable, but true.) Santa Claus has a new helper this year. Everyone agrees he needs at least three more concussions to be as funny as Terry Bradshaw. In the news, Bill Maher was sued for joking that Donald Trump is the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan. Argus Hamilton is an American stand-up comedian, writer, and host of The Comedy Store Tonight starring Argus Hamilton. Polls say it would end up being Biden then age 82 vs. Donald Trump then age 78. They want Florida, New Jersey and California to tear down all the Trump statues on his golf courses. The Publicists Manual states that in order to stay in the news, you scream racism for three days and then you develop a cocaine problem and get arrested on Sunset Boulevard.ARGUS HAMILTON, GB, Albert departments battle two structure fires Monday, Council OKs resolutions for Zarah loft project, Local volunteers strive to include girls in youth soccer, Bernard (Barney) John Kruse 1952 - 2023. By Argus Hamilton Published August 4, 2021 The White House didn't comment Monday on why President Biden was not invited to Barack Obama's sixtieth birthday party. Editors have the option to run all the columns, some of the columns, edited versions of the columns, daily excerpts or a weekly compilation. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: From A-Rod to Carlos Danger, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: The Royal Baby & Much More. Im starting to think Im responsible for this pandemic Buffalo warmed up Thursday ending the citys weeklong record blizzard home shutdown. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. The Irish Catholic president saw Protestant Belfast, toured castles in Ireland that were owned by English lords and he met with Englands prime minister who is Pakistani. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Argus Hamilton on the News: Toronto Mayor, Obamacare & More! [2] [3] [4] Hamilton began his stand-up comedy career at The Comedy Store. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? The inventor of the Stairmaster died at 54, the inventor of gymnastics died at 57 and the inventor of opium died at the age of 116, during an earthquake. And it was shot down for good reason. We just dont Read more, Carnival reimbursed the U.S. for rescuing two liners stranded at sea with overflowing sewage early this year. They just made it into the ocean. All rights reserved. Argus on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. The Washington Times reported that Medicare overpaid sixty-four million dollars for erection pumps which the federal program provides Read more, In the news: Duck Dynasty, crack-smoking mayor, lottery & more Duck Dynastys family patriarch Phil Robertson was put on hiatus by A&E Network after he compared homosexuality to Read more, Elton John, Mayor Rob Ford, the NSA & much more! sustaining monthly donation. The president sees an opening here. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Hamilton: In those Super Bowl ads, its about what sells beer. Tuesday, August 4, 2009 . Dr. Fauci warned Americans to wear three bathing suits before getting in the pool. language, country and your other public info. Qatar boasted there was no violence, no hooliganism, no alcohol-fueled rioting. The Walt Disney Company released the trailer for the upcoming action adventure Peter Pan and Wendy based on J.M. Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Argus Hamilton admits he's not the type of guy to do something that's no fun. Some of them wanted to exclude massage parlors, dog tracks and porn shops but didnt have the votes. Published Jan. 25, 2021. [6] Robin Williams called him "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom". Its noteworthy that Colonel Sanders never stored his secret blend of 11 herbs and spices in a garage. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus jokes. Contact an All American Speakers Bureau booking agent for more information on Argus Hamilton speaking fees, availability, speech topics and cost to hire for your next live or virtual event. All Rights Reserved. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. Editorial Cartoons Puzzles From Print . Review and Buy used cars online at OOYYO. Check out new hilarious editorial cartoons page, updated daily! Contact an All American Speakers Bureau booking agent. And to cap it off, Ruperts much-younger fiance just called off the marriage. These cookies do not store any personal information. Hollywood legendary movie star Raquel Welch died after a short illness in L.A. Wednesday at age eighty-two. Friday, April 23, 2010 Argus Hamilton's column for 4-23-10 Senior Living reports retirement communities in Palm Springs now offer Baby Boomers enclosed gated neighborhoods with golf courses, pools, tennis courts, clubhouses with billiard rooms, gyms and card rooms. He had two mistresses fighting over him and a wife Read more. Theyd better give it to us. My direct ancestor Lord James Hamilton founded Northern Ireland for King James I in 1606 and flooded County Ulster with British Protestants. Argus Hamilton on the News: Carnival Cruise No Carnival, Argus Hamilton on the News: Cyprus, Lohan and Much More, Fun With The News: Carnival Cruise Liner & More, Argus Has Fun With The News: Donald Trump & More, Fun With The News: Pot Legalization & More, Argus Has Fun with the News: Sex-Texting & More. Argus Hamilton, Southern Man of Taste The Comedy Store Podcast Stand-Up Argus has seen it all and today he shares a couple of stories in which the felonies that were committed have passed the statute of limitations for prosecution in the great state of California. The cop asked me why I ran through a red light and I told him its 2023, I dont see color. All the trans-genders in the Games have given little girls who want to grow up to achieve Olympic stardom a new motto to live by. Oklahoma Hypnotist, Ventriloquist, Announcer & "Voice of OETA" Featured on "Good Morning America" and in TIME magazine Known as Darci Farmer's Long Time Coach (the Hit Sensation Seen on America's Got Talent), Former ABC War Correspondent; CNN's Former Chief Terrorism Correspondent Recently Embedded in Iraq & Afghanistan with ABC Subject of the ABC documentary film "The Hornet's Nest" (released 2014), Motivational Speaker and Author Customer Experience Expert Customer Service Speaker and Author.
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