1 May 2023. After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . McNeely bases his playful and robust score on classic silver screen-era Westerns, offering up a pastiche that's both reverent and self-aware, while the theme song, which is performed by Alan Jackson, and "If You've Only Got a Mustache," the latter of which is performed by Grammy-nominated American tenor Amick Byram, are as goofy as they are . As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . However, when the infamous West outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) arrives in town, Albert realizes that he has just intruded on Clinch and Anna's husband-and-wife relationship, and Clinch is hungry for retribution. 2 likes. Albert: Okay, that's Bridget, all right? I suck at dancing. It just makes it that much funnier. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. Like. Basically, if it's not you, it wants to kill you, and just might succeed. He knows how to make people laugh, as demonstrated in his Family Guy TV series, his movie smash Ted and in sporadic moments of his gig hosting the Oscars last year. The one where EW follows up with the cast. You can't blame Seth MacFarlane, that one-man comedy . Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. Hes outclassed by Charlize Theron, who shows off her comedy chops in a surprisingly big way and generally seems to be enjoying herself. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. Do you know what kind of hours he has to work? 1:31. He was Methodist, I'm half Jewish. You know, like snakes. . 2014 Universal Studios. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. This version also has even more footage in deleted scenes, and an alternate beginning and ending. Ruth: Oh yeah, it's this, its like from here to here. But jokes that weren't funny the first time aren't funny the sixth time, either. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. This is MacFarlanes first live-action lead role (he voiced the potty-mouthed bear in Ted) and for my money hes simply not great at being the leading man, coming off as more obnoxious than straight-up funny. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Albert cant abide the mindless brutality, appalling hygiene and constant danger of life in Old Stump, the tumbleweed town he reluctantly calls home: Everything out here thats not you wants to kill you.. But some men were just big giant pussies. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter 1, Independence Day: Resurgence (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hail, Caesar! As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Barn Dance Comedian: I tell you, folks, this telegraph machine, that thing is nuts. Amick Byram. Apple TV & Privacy Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! For a few chuckles more. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: [after shooting someone] people die at the fair. 15. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. A Million Ways to Die in the West hits theaters on May 30. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. Even as a self-described non-dancer, MacFarlane knows how to assemble the right team for a showstopper. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. Albert: Yeah. Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . . Indian Chief: (after Albert's drug trip hallucination; in Athabaskan) Did you shoot the black condor and then kicked it in the balls? Albert: Oh my god, please! Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. All rights reserved. Albert recklessly challenges Foy to a gunfight a week hence, even though the hapless sheep minder literally cant shoot to save his life. All I mean, sure it's faster than the Pony Express, but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick? When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. One father scolded his young son, "Take your hat off! Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. Anna: [to Louise] How can you be so blind with eyes that big?! Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". If You've Only Got a Moustache. At a recent press conference held in Los . Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. Louise is gonna be there, and she's gonna be with Foy. Apple Inc. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights And, uh, wild animals. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. [leaves]. Star Wars Jedi: Survivor Has Perfected Lightsaber Combat, Project Milo Was a Big Swing (and a Miss) at Leveling Up Game AI, Mrs. Doubtfire Actor Matthew Lawrence Alleges He Lost Marvel Role After Refusing Director's Advances, Fan-Favorite Deadpool 2 Character is Returning for Deadpool 3, King of the Hill Actor Confirms Revival Will Feature a Time Jump, Amazon Prime Members: Get $5 in Free Amazon Credit, The Biggest Games Coming in May and Beyond, Xbox Storage Expansion Cards on Sale for New All-Time Low Price, Moon Mystery - Official Kickstarter Trailer, Marvel Cinematic Universe: Phase One - Avengers Assembled, Resident Evil 4 Clockwork Castellan Locations. Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Albert: Oh. 1882. Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Tries To Teach Albert How To Shoot, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Foy Mocks Albert On Their Way To The Shooting Gallery, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Meets Albert At The Dance. It starts from a clever brain that ceased emotional development at age 12 and winds its way through to the orifice that emits the rudest noises and effluence. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. With Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson. His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. R. 1h 56m. Holy sh*t. To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Albert: No, no, no, no! A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. Terms and Policies Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? See production, box office & company info. Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition], Classic Soundtracks: Psycho (1960 Film Score), The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), The Magnificent Seven (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hercules (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey (Music from the Original TV Series), Vol. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. He shows impeccable taste in how his movie looks (his DOP Michael Barrett makes Monument Valley a locale to die for) and also how it sounds. R, 1 hr 55 min. For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a hollow-tip bullet, you really only need one shot. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Great Scott. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. One of A Million Ways to Die in the West is to give away all your jokes in the promos leading up to your film's debut. A Million Ways to Die in the West. Opens Friday at major . Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. But I got great tits. She has a problem with retardation, but she's full of love. All rights reserved. "There it is!" "Dear God, look at it!" "It's beautiful!". Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto Yet the screenplay he penned with Family Guy/Ted hands Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild is slapdash at best. Link to Are You There God? Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. 18 Songs, 41 minutes Anna and Albert. Inspiration for the Work: The film originated as an inside joke between Seth MacFarlane and co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wesley Wild while they were watching Hang 'Em High. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. 1882. Enter Anna, played by Charlize Theron, a regular Annie Oakley who takes a shine to Albert and wants to show him how to cock his pistol. R. Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. We Should All Just Wear Coffins As Clothes, Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Bernard Herrmann: The Twilight Zone Conducted By Joel McNeely (Music From Television Series), Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire (Original Soundtrack), X-Men: Days of Future Past - Rogue Cut (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Extended Version], The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), 007: Casino Royale (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Version]. He's been dead for a few minutes. Here are your picks for the Best of the Capital Region 2023 PREVIEW. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put . Albert: The guy is one of the best shots around. Albert: Yeah, I saw that. PREVIEW. 33%. Newspapers Limited, 8 Spadina Avenue, 10th Floor, Toronto, ON M5V 0S8. And if they dont work the first time, hell try and try again. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? Well, did he at least hear all the smart things I said? Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . Vulgar -- yes, but just not funny. Albert is attracted to her, initially, by her beauty, but realizes she's the courage and confidence he has always hungered for. By Stephen Holden. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. MacFarlane certainly seems to embrace this contradiction. 116 minutes. On the other hand, Albert also has to find the gunslinging skill in order to battle Louise's new boyfriend - the cocky and wealthy Foy (Neil Patrick Harris) - in a shootout in front of the entire town. That's a dollar bill!". Anna and Albert. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! 1:31. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with criticism directed toward the film's length and MacFarlane's performance. Anna: I don't think you should leave tomorrow. Old Stump Bluegrass. And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. It's got to be bad for their brains, right? [stammers] It's a weather experiment. Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron. I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. Edward: Albert, he's dead. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. Web. Copyright 2023 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Directed by Seth MacFarlane. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. He gets no comfort or love from his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), who breaks his heart by dumping him for moustachioed playboy Foy (the reliably funny Neil Patrick Harris). 14. The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. Republication or distribution of this content is Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars. If You've Only Got a Moustache. In Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the film's best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny "Mustache . The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman and Liam Neeson. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? Albert: "The American west is a terrible place and time. These are full loads. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Well, it was still good though. Your sheep are everywhere. She is now with a dapper, successful, extroverted store owner, Foy, a fact Foy keeps reminding him of. All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . She neglects to tell him that shes married to the outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), an infamous and jealous gunslinger who regularly contributes to that million-ways body count. But if I caught you by surprise Well, Anna taught me just enough to get me in the ballpark. Albert: Oh, f*** that. "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." Yet hes afraid to stray from knuckle-dragging comedy, being obsessed with jokes about farts, diarrhea and genitals that splat more often than they zing. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. 3 likes. 10. The American West, 1880s. 2014 Back Lot Music. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. The men who were courageous and resilient were the men who prospered. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. Copyright 2023 Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Not only did he adapt a song from the period, but he also hired a veteran choreographer and an army of Broadway dancers for the sequence. I'm not going to the stupid fair. Opens Friday at major theatres 14A. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes.
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